玛丽·安和詹姆斯·P ·埃姆斯韦勒著
- Are you always irritable, annoyed, intolerant or angry these days?
- Do you experience an ongoing sense of numbness or of being isolated from your own self or from others? Do you usually feel that you have no one to talk to about what’s happened?
- Since your loved one died, are you highly anxious most of the time about your own death or the death of someone you love? Is it beginning to interfere with your relationships, your ability to concentrate or live as you would like to live?
- Do you feel that you are always and continually preoccupied with your loved one, his or her death or certain aspects of it even though it’s been several months since his or her death?
- Do you usually feel restless or in “high gear”? Do you feel the need to be constantly busy… beyond what’s normal for you?
- Are you afraid of becoming close to new people for fear of losing again?
- Do you find yourself acting in ways that might prove harmful to you over time: drinking more than you used to; using more prescription or non-prescription drugs; engaging in sexual activity that is unsafe or unwise; driving in an unsafe or reckless manner (beyond what’s normal for you); or entertaining serious thoughts about suicide?
- Are you taking on too much responsibility for surviving family members or close friends? (What’s too much responsibility? That varies greatly and depends on the situation, but if you’re feeling heavily burdened by it, angry or like the situation is “suffocating” you, it might be time to speak with someone.)
- Do your grief reactions continue, over time, to be limited in some way? Are you experiencing only a few of the reactions or emotions that usually come with grief? Are you unable to express your thoughts or feelings about your loved one and his or her death in words or in actions? Do you remember only certain aspects of your loved one or your relationship together, for example only the good parts as opposed to a more complete and balanced view of him or her?
- Is there some aspect of what you’re experiencing that makes you wonder about whether you’re normal or going crazy? Do you feel stuck in your grief in some way, unable to move on, even though it’s been quite some time since your loved one’s death?
您最近总是易怒、烦躁、偏执或生气吗?
您是否有一种持续的麻木感，或是一种被自己或他人隔绝的感觉? 您是否常常觉得自己找不到倾诉的对象?
您所爱的人去世后，您是否经常为自己的死亡或您所爱之人的死亡而焦虑？ 这种情绪是否开始干扰您的人际关系、集中注意力的能力以及您向往的生活?
即使您所爱的人已经在几个月前去世了，您是否觉得自己还是会持续地沉浸在他或她的死亡中无法走出来?
您是否经常会感到焦躁不安或者过度兴奋？您是否觉得在日常生活之外必须要一直忙个不停？
您是否因为害怕再次失去而害怕与陌生人亲近?
您是否发现自己的行为方式可能会对自己造成长期危害：饮酒过量; 使用更多处方药或非处方药; 从事不安全或不明智的性行为; 以不安全或鲁莽的方式驾驶（超出正常范围）; 或是认真地考虑过自杀？
您是否对在世的家庭成员或亲密的朋友承担了太多的责任? （什么是太多的责任? 这因人而异，取决于具体情况，但如果您感到压力很大、愤怒，或者觉得目前的情况“让您窒息”，那么也许是时候和别人谈谈了。）
随着时间的推移，您的悲伤反应还一直在吗？？您是否只经历了一些通常伴随悲伤而来的反应或情绪? 您是否无法用言语或行动来表达您对爱人和他/她的死亡的想法或感受? 您是否只记得所爱的人或您们之间关系的某些方面，例如只记得他/她好的一方面，而不是对他/她更全面、更平衡的看法?
您正在经历的事情是否会让您怀疑自己是正常的还是发疯了? 即使您所爱的人已经去世很长一段时间了,您是否仍在某种程度上感到悲伤，无法继续前进？
Beyond these ten signs, trust your own judgment. If you think that talking to a professional might help, talk to one or more people to see who you are comfortable with. Take advantage of one who seems helpful to you. After all, grief is painful enough without trying to do it all by yourself.
除了这十个迹象，相信您自己的判断。如果您认为与专业人士交谈可能有所帮助，请与一个或多个人交谈，看看您跟谁交谈比较自在，利用对您似乎有帮助的人。毕竟，极度悲伤会让人痛苦到无法独自承受。